22 8 / 2014

As I finished reading the first book of A Song of Ice and Fire, aka Game of Thrones, my first words were: “Well. At least I’m done with that hot mess.”

I feel as though that one statement sums up all my feels. The writing was okay. I got extremely annoyed in the beginning because Martin sometimes uses two or more names for one character, and when he already has like fifty, you want to strangle him. It already reads like a soap opera, so I can only imagine HBO didn’t have to dig too far for a good script. I hated almost every character and wanted to punch them in the face for being stupid. (Especially you, Sansa. Especially you) But I suppose it does have me hooked.

My one real complaint is that it was the most sexist piece of literature I have ever encountered. That I cannot forgive him for. It was riddled with so much domestic and sexual abuse it would be easier to count the women who didn’t get beat, raped, or killed.

15 8 / 2014

perilousseas:

equiuszahhot:

do you ever hear a line in a song and it’s just so painfully clever you just sit there in shock for the remainder of the song

(Source: mangacartaholygrail, via ariel-irl)

15 8 / 2014

digitalcrayon:

Okay, so there’s this app called “Couple” in the app store. ((I think it may have been called “Pair” as well, but I’ve got the AT&T version.)) Let me tell you about this cute little motherfucking app.

Okay, so you have this icon
image

Not all that impressive, but still cute…

15 8 / 2014

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

(Source: bellecs, via theflyinoctopi)

28 7 / 2014

dr-whackadoodle:

thrithwig:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out



musings-of-a-mindful-soul

dr-whackadoodle:

thrithwig:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out

musings-of-a-mindful-soul

21 7 / 2014

If anyone is still looking for a GISHWHES team, the United States of Sexy is still looking. We’re made up of mini teams from all across the US with a group in Scotland! If anyone is interested by themselves or with a group of friends, send me a message and we may have spots for you!!!

17 6 / 2014

scicusummerinscotland:

So here is my first vlog about my adventures in Germany. It’s LONG (just under 30 minutes) since I tried to cover five days worth of activities. They won’t be this long again. I promise. Or at least I hope.

Woohooo me talking about things.

20 5 / 2014

I LITERALLY AM YELLING NO. METATRON YOU ARE NOT JESUS.

19 5 / 2014

socialistyes:

I’m a American student headed to Scotland in two weeks who is conducting summer research on the referendum debate. Would you mind too terribly giving me a signal boost? My research is focusing on voters ages 18-22. Basically, I want to see if there are any parallels between our age range and the over all voting population. It’s nothing too difficult or personal. If anyone wants more information or to participate, please send me an ask. Thank you!

Here I am, considering my url isn’t in that submission anywhere.

19 5 / 2014

I feel like I’m going to get a lot of people thinking I’m a creep, sending them all these messages about participating in my research….